Recently my wife of 9 years, someone I've been with for 11, kicked me out of the house. She had been having an affair with a neighbor, someone I considered a friend. We have 3 kids together. She completely changed, and completely destroyed me. I've been down as low as ...
07-16-2007, 12:21 AM
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| Audaces fortuna iuvat  Moderate Northern VA 
| How I became a Christian Recently my wife of 9 years, someone I've been with for 11, kicked me out of the house. She had been having an affair with a neighbor, someone I considered a friend. We have 3 kids together. She completely changed, and completely destroyed me. I've been down as low as one can get. yes, THAT low. while going through boxes of my stuff, I picked up a book called, "The Purpose Driven Life" which is a religious self-help book. I also joined a church, at first to spend more time with the kids but now I go there to be with God. I don't care who or what God is in people's eyes, be it an entity or just collective love itself. All I know is what I felt. I've never been very religious, but there were physical things that happened while there that I cannot explain. Today, the preacher was talking about God's love through trials, and hard times. When he was closing, he looked at me when he said something about God loving those when heartbroken.. it was during a prayer, now I remember. But as soon as he said that I know what I *felt* and it made me feel good inside. At least for the time of the prayer the pain I was feeling was covered, like when you put a blanket over something. I can't stop thinking about that moment. About the people that have helped me. It has changed my outlook on many things. | ||||
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07-16-2007, 12:36 AM
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| Banned - Self Imposed  Progressive Philadelphia, PA
| TPDL is one of the better books out there, and spirituality is a powerful tool, you are using it through religion and I'm glad to see you're getting comfort The atheistic way to deal with pain is the hardest and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but I'd still recommend some sort of therapy because as you know you are going to move on and find a new relationship, and spirituality, no matter how powerful, is not going to cure all the problems of trust you'll be lugging around im sorry if im speaking a little prematurely, depending on everyone's time frame you may want a LOT more time before you even consider a relationship | ||||
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07-16-2007, 10:54 AM
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| Mission Accomplished NOT!  Independent MN
| Originally Posted by Pro Street 
Sorry to hear about your wife especially when kids are involved. I am glad to hear you didn't off yourself as your kids need a father in their lives. They need someone to guide them and help them become who they are as it is every parents role when they decide to have kids in the first place. If you have no other reasons to be around consider your kids as the primary one! I am glad to hear you are finding peace in God. I too have had similiar experiences that go beyond any physical explanation. I know God is with me always and in everything I do now because of these experiences. Always keep these experiences close to your heart and when times are rough remember them. Go with your heart. It does mend and life will be joyous once again. Also consider therapy as this is a very helpful tool to deal with grief. | ||||
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07-16-2007, 05:01 PM
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| Braccae tuae aperiuntur.  Reform Party NJ
| Originally Posted by Pro Street I'm glad you've found comfort. I wish you the best.
__________________ No good decision was ever made in a swivel chair. Senate Majority Leader, Harry Reid: As we look back in history, the Founding Fathers would be cringing to hear people talking about eliminating earmarks. | ||||
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07-16-2007, 06:02 PM
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| Anti-War, Anti-State, Pro-Free Market  Capitalist
| Been wondering where you have been   | ||||
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07-16-2007, 06:15 PM
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| Friend to all.  Socialist Maryland
| You need to post a thread in Speakeasy so we can have a proper discussion about this | ||||
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07-16-2007, 06:26 PM
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| Pinko Commie Bastard  Communist Moscow
| Originally Posted by JaJae
__________________ Perhaps the sentiments contained in the preceding post, are not yet sufficiently favorable to procure them general favor; a long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defence of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason. - slightly modified from Common Sense, Thomas Paine, 1776 I am Ron Paul, Congressman from Texas... I am the champion of the Constitution.  | ||||
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07-16-2007, 06:39 PM
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| Master Debator Election Moderator  Democrat Omaha, NE
| Do what you have to do brother. If you need anything from your internet buddies you know what to do. | ||||
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07-17-2007, 06:23 AM
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| ipsa Scientia Potestas est  Pragmatist North Carolina
| I'm glad you've found something that can help you in your time of need.. I've spent quite a bit more time than one might expect in church, and even without the belief the positive energy is amazing. | ||||
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07-17-2007, 06:34 AM
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| tyop speicalist Religion Moderator  Capitalist California
| Originally Posted by motivez Robert M. Price is one of my favorite authors on the Early Christianity era. He is an atheist, but he still attends church every Sunday for that positive energy. He often refers to himself as a Christian atheist because he believes in the principals that are taught in Christianity.
__________________ $$_/^_^\__*<}{~))}}""?  ????   ? //\\  **!!]" | ||||
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07-18-2007, 02:49 AM
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| Common Sense Conservative  Realist
| Originally Posted by motivez Unless it's a Catholic mass, in which case you just feel robotic and guilty.
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07-18-2007, 06:00 AM
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| ipsa Scientia Potestas est Pragmatist North Carolina
| I actually think "black" churches have the best energy, and smaller (non-televised/mega-church) evangelical the next. | ||||
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07-18-2007, 10:35 AM
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| no es mi culpa  Independent Beantown
| I was a Christian by default when i was born. I became Pagan by informed study of religions when I was in Highschool. whatever makes you feel connected inside. 
__________________ There is small disproportion betwixt a fool who useth not wit because he hath it not and him that useth it not when it should avail him. | ||||
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07-18-2007, 12:13 PM
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| Audaces fortuna iuvat Moderate Northern VA
| The energy is one of the things that helps... I don't know what or who God is, or really what to expect in any kind of afterlife... all I know is that, to not sound cliché, I put my faith for the first time, and opened myself to whatever happens. Other than the increasingly fewer bouts of depression, my days are really bright. Thanks also for the encouragement, once this does go to trial I'll keep everyone updated... in all honestly I'm sure I'll own her in court. | ||||
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07-19-2007, 01:23 AM
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| Lurker  Independent Canada's wet coast
| Originally Posted by Pro Street I think this might be a part of the secret. Once you stop depending on yourself to figure out all of the answers, there's a great sense of relief. I like to think of it as dwelling in the mystery, rather than finding all the answers.
Ironically, this is what led me away from Christianity, but that's because I come from a fairly fundamentalist background. I now find that absolutism of almost any sort drives me to depression. It robs the hope, I think. | ||||
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07-20-2007, 10:14 AM
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| Banned  Conservative Government is another way to say Better Than You
| Pro Street, I admire your willingness to share your spirituality, your beliefs, and your time closer to God with everyone here, especially given the atheistic or agnostic or non-Christian tones that tend to overwhelm the forums. Because of this, I will share my recent experiences. In the past 6 months I've been dealing a lot with myself as a person, who I am, and who I want to be. I've always known about God, known about Christianity, and known about right and wrong, but I've also been unhappy, empty, unsatisfied, and always craving something, not really knowing what it was. I think it's been very recent that I've realized what it was I was missing. Knowing about all of those things is good, and provides a foundation of some sort, but it's really knowing God that matters in the end. Knowledge is not as important as a relationship with God, and that's what changed everything. The difficult thing in all of this is letting yourself go, being open to God, talking and listening to God, and opening your heart for his guidance. Ultimately, that's what's been fulfilling. As a result, I've never been happier. Throughout my recent charges being brought against me, I've not been afraid. Going through my research and career, I've not been afraid. No matter what comes at me, I'm not afraid, for I know there is a reason for it all. I'm not only going to Africa to set up relationships for medical work, but to also reach out to the people and do the Kingdom's work. Their main religion is Christianity, but they don't have a grasp on what it is. They are a very spiritual people, but they leave the spiritual part out of Christianity, filling it with the ritualistic and spiritual beliefs of their other religions, still turning to witchdoctors and such. I'll be going there to help them run their churches and train the leaders of those churches. I'll be teaching kids Bible lessons. I'll be teaching adults Bible lessons. I hope that everyone here can accept my willingness to open up about this, as they have yours, but I expect some ridicule. Never be afraid of persecution, as it's expected to be a regular part of our lives. I will pray for you in your time of hardship, Pro Street. | ||||
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07-20-2007, 12:50 PM
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| minor irritant &/or non-entity News Moderator Contrarian Birmingham, UK
| Prostreet: thanks for sharing ertc. Have your recent religious experiences changed any of your political views? Do you think it might change your posting style in any way? I ask because I wonder if such things are so effecting internally that they change external behaviour. To be hypercritical to purely serve as an example, sorry if it offend its a device to cope with my poor commaand of language. You'd get fairly agressively frustrated in thread about 9/11 conspiracy theories, would you be more temperate now do you think? Likewise you've chosen to focus on the adversaral nature of your divorce. Ballz: Garnted that there are large differences between your own views as to the true nature of christianity & those of some typical Zambian. But how do you know that you are right. You make it sound as if there is some visceral response to your introspection. Is this the case? Either way could it not be the case that God manifests himself in culturally appropriate ways? Isnt there a bit in the bible about ppl seeing the divine in ways that are appropriate to the intellect/nature/character? I genuinely mean no offence & am genuinely interested in ppl inner experiences.. Perhaps if I've time & the wit I'll try & share my very limited experiences of this nature | ||||
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07-20-2007, 03:11 PM
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| Banned Conservative Government is another way to say Better Than You
| Originally Posted by avsp They have churches already set up, Christian churches. There are still questions they have regarding Christianity. I'm there to help explain things.
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07-20-2007, 06:53 PM
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| Audaces fortuna iuvat Moderate Northern VA
| b2w...thanks for the words, and good luck in Africa... it'd be exciting to see the world, I hope to one day. Originally Posted by avsp So far my political views remain the same, I haven't noticed how any of them conflict or have changed. The reason 9/11 threads frustrate me is because many assertions are based on logical fallacies, and many go by all they can, which is information from a 3rd party. When people claim a plane didn't hit the Pentagon, it bothers me because I know for a fact that one did...I don't mean to get upset at people for having different views of politics or of events, however with some issues I feel like I end up repeating myself over and over and that it's not heard.
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07-21-2007, 05:59 AM
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| minor irritant &/or non-entity News Moderator Contrarian Birmingham, UK
| Originally Posted by Pro Street So, your 'blanket' experience has not led to a change in the way that you cope with such frustrations?
I do have sympathy with for your situation with regard to your divorce etc. & I wish you well. Further I hope that the christian virtue of forgiveness will enable the process to be less traumatic for all concerned. Perhaps you neednt divorce, ... but I'm getting far too presumptive & nosey I feel. I hope that I'm not offending anyone here. I want to ask a whole bunch of questions that I fear may be seen as trolling | ||||
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