Divorcing

[Pro Street]

ok, so I decided to make a thread about why I've been away, I talked about it a little in the religion forum. My wife of 9 years, who I've been with for 11, had been having an affair with a neighbor, someone I considered a friend, for a few months prior to June when I "found out".

All I can say is that there are few things that can hurt/destroy a person more than what I've been going through.


There's a lot of good times now, but it of course still hurts sometimes.

[thatguyoverthere]

Originally Posted by Pro Street

ok, so I decided to make a thread about why I've been away, I talked about it a little in the religion forum. My wife of 9 years, who I've been with for 11, had been having an affair with a neighbor, someone I considered a friend, for a few months prior to June when I "found out".

All I can say is that there are few things that can hurt/destroy a person more than what I've been going through.


There's a lot of good times now, but it of course still hurts sometimes.

I'm very sorry to hear about that, dude. I had a girlfriend cheat on me with a friend, but it's got to be 100x worse when it's your spouse. You probably have quite a different outlook on life and love now, huh?

[Stylerod]

That is so sad to hear. How old are your kids? How are they handling it?

[6SpeedTA95]

Oh no brother. I'm sorry to hear that. How are the kids holding up?

[Donkey®]

It's common to feel the way you do now but just a short time from now you'll look back and realize it wasn't the end of the world.

[Pro Street]

Originally Posted by Stylerod

That is so sad to hear. How old are your kids? How are they handling it?

I kinda feel liberated actually now. Kids are 8,6,3... they're having a rough time, especially since she's flaunting her new BF around, drinking, and the dude's borderline psycho.

it's a bad, bad divorce with the kids, it'll end up being like Kramer vs Kramer I'm sure.

there's so much going on, it's why I didn't update this until just recently.

[ballz2wallz]

Sorry to hear that dude...how old are you?

[Joe_Cool]

I know how you feel. We were only together for 5 years (married for half of that), but my wife moved out just over 2 years ago. I'm just now getting to be my real self again. That kind of betrayal will mess you up like nothing else.

Best of luck.

[Stylerod]

Originally Posted by Joe_Cool

I know how you feel. We were only together for 5 years (married for half of that), but my wife moved out just over 2 years ago. I'm just now getting to be my real self again. That kind of betrayal will mess you up like nothing else.

Best of luck.

Yuck. I can't even imagine life without my wife. We have been married 21 years. We dated 2 years before that and were best friends for about 4-5 years before that.

[Joe_Cool]

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Yuck. I can't even imagine life without my wife. We have been married 21 years. We dated 2 years before that and were best friends for about 4-5 years before that.

I won't lie... it's been really hard.

[Pro Street]

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Yuck. I can't even imagine life without my wife. We have been married 21 years. We dated 2 years before that and were best friends for about 4-5 years before that.

really I still don't understand the 180 my wife did either.


I don't even try to think about why because it still is just unexplainable.

b2w...I'm 28

[Thorgrim]

Originally Posted by Pro Street

really I still don't understand the 180 my wife did either.


I don't even try to think about why because it still is just unexplainable.

b2w...I'm 28

On the bright side, you're still young, and women much prefer a guy who has been divorced after a long term relationship than someone who has never been married or at least in a long term engagement

[Joe_Cool]

Originally Posted by Thorgrim

On the bright side, you're still young, and women much prefer a guy who has been divorced after a long term relationship than someone who has never been married or at least in a long term engagement

If this is true, it's good news indeed. I haven't gotten that impression, though. Maybe it's just that my game hasn't come back yet.

[Thorgrim]

Originally Posted by Joe_Cool

If this is true, it's good news indeed. I haven't gotten that impression, though. Maybe it's just that my game hasn't come back yet.

When I mean women, I don't mean recent HS graduate girls looking for empty relationships based on sex

I mean, women his age

They see a guy who is approaching 30, and never been seriously engaged...never been married...they think one of two things:
1) This guy drives girls away, by now he should have found at least one girl who was impressive enough he wanted to marry her, unless there is something wrong with him
2) He can't commit, and probably has isolation issues that would destroy any relationship after a few months

Now, a guy divorced, especially a guy who has gone back to the gym, got some new clothes, stopped loathing the insanity of women (ofcourse I'll point out guys have their own boatload of problems)

In a few months, for women his age, he could be at the top of his game, he looks good?, he's young, he sounds successful? from what I've seen, and he's already shown he can go into a deep relationship and can attract women who are more than 1 night stands

Many women will go "alright, he was a real prize, things fell apart in his last relationship, and how he's back on the market again for a limited time!"

Style chip in here, you must have divorced friends, some that went to pieces, others that came roaring back...everyone else here is probably too young to give good advice...unfortunately im in grad school surronded by people sometimes almost double my age...gotta make class friends...

[Joe_Cool]

Originally Posted by Thorgrim

When I mean women, I don't mean recent HS graduate girls looking for empty relationships based on sex

I mean, women his age

They see a guy who is approaching 30, and never been seriously engaged...never been married...they think one of two things:
1) This guy drives girls away, by now he should have found at least one girl who was impressive enough he wanted to marry her, unless there is something wrong with him
2) He can't commit, and probably has isolation issues that would destroy any relationship after a few months

Now, a guy divorced, especially a guy who has gone back to the gym, got some new clothes, stopped loathing the insanity of women (ofcourse I'll point out guys have their own boatload of problems)

In a few months, for women his age, he could be at the top of his game, he looks good?, he's young, he sounds successful? from what I've seen, and he's already shown he can go into a deep relationship and can attract women who are more than 1 night stands

Many women will go "alright, he was a real prize, things fell apart in his last relationship, and how he's back on the market again for a limited time!"

Style chip in here, you must have divorced friends, some that went to pieces, others that came roaring back...everyone else here is probably too young to give good advice...unfortunately im in grad school surronded by people sometimes almost double my age...gotta make class friends...

Yeah, at 36 I'm much too young to give advice to a guy who's approaching 30. I'm sure your knowledge of the world far outweighs mine.

Women aren't turned on by the fact that a guy is divorced. They'll go out with you even though, but not because of.

[Thorgrim]

Originally Posted by Joe_Cool

Yeah, at 36 I'm much too young to give advice to a guy who's approaching 30. I'm sure your knowledge of the world far outweighs mine.

Women aren't turned on by the fact that a guy is divorced. They'll go out with you even though, but not because of.

Oh yeah so you're friends that have never been married or engaged (or any other type of long term relationship) that are closer to 40 than 30, women just flock to them for a serious relationship?