France lands in Lebanon with 50 troops!

JaJae · 08-19-2006, 02:49 PM

NAQOURA, Lebanon -- French soldiers landed in Lebanon on Saturday, the first reinforcements for an expanded U.N. peacekeeping force tasked with keeping the truce in the Israel-Hezbollah conflict.

About 50 French troops - military engineers - were to prepare for the arrival of 200 more soldiers expected next week, said Cmdr. Bertrand Bonneau, a spokesman for the French contingent.

"Today this is the first step," he said. "France is the first country to deploy additional troops in the region."

Since this is ironically funny I figured now was a good a time as any to start a French humor thread.

France promised thousands of troops and show up with 50, promising to bring up to 200 more.

Let's get this thread rollin..

JaJae · 08-19-2006, 03:15 PM

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." —General George S. Patton

"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." —Jacques Chirac, President of France

"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it." —Marge Simpson

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee." —Regis Philbin

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" —Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof,' it came marching into Paris under a German flag." —David Letterman

JaJae · 08-19-2006, 03:20 PM

Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America?
A. They had no use for her anyway
B. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France for God's sake.
C. She wouldn't put out
D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the British. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory.
E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the balls to do what is right.
F. All of the above

JaJae · 08-19-2006, 03:22 PM

During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why to you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said, "That is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."

JaJae · 08-19-2006, 03:27 PM

The French have only one actual fighting war hero, Joan of Arc, and they turned her over to the enemy!

Q: what the Frenchmen can do in 5 minutes?
A: Surrender twice.

American to Frenchman: "Do you speak German?" Frenchman: "No." American: "You're Welcome"

Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army?
A: A rearview mirror, so they can see the war.

Going to war without the French on your side is like going hunting without your accordion.

"Finally, this week the French soldiers have showed up in Afghanistan. Figures — just like the French to show up after the hard work has been done." —Jay Leno

Q. How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A. Nobody knows. It's never been tried.

thomez · 08-19-2006, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by JaJae

Why did the French send Lady Liberty to America?
A. They had no use for her anyway
B. They didn't want the tired, poor, huddled masses to come to France for God's sake.
C. She wouldn't put out
D. To be a constant reminder of the help they gave to defeat the British. As if WE'RE the ones with the short memory.
E. They wanted to remind future generations that they once had the balls to do what is right.
F. All of the above

G. She shaved her armpits.

thomez · 08-19-2006, 04:47 PM

Why are the streets of Paris lined with trees?

The Germans like to march in the shade.

kinggovernor · 08-19-2006, 05:20 PM

Originally Posted by JaJae

During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. An officer brought the Major to the French general for interrogation. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." The French general said, "Why to you wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." The British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, and my soldiers will not get scared." The French general said, "That is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants."

kinggovernor · 08-19-2006, 05:20 PM

ibGeneralThrogriminsiststhefrenchmilitaryisthebest

Stylerod · 08-20-2006, 03:04 PM

motivez · 08-21-2006, 01:58 AM

Where'd you get that?

That looks like a copy of the newspaper my aunt scanned for me a few years back when they were down in Austin.. I don't remember if I posted it anywhere though.

Stylerod · 08-21-2006, 09:31 AM

Originally Posted by motivez

Where'd you get that?

That looks like a copy of the newspaper my aunt scanned for me a few years back when they were down in Austin.. I don't remember if I posted it anywhere though.

I don't know. Someone posted it on OT and I saved it. I thought it was funny as hell.

imind · 08-21-2006, 11:47 AM

so we're making fun of a country for not being good at war, correct? just checking.

Stylerod · 08-21-2006, 12:14 PM

Originally Posted by imind

so we're making fun of a country for not being good at war, correct? just checking.

Actually, just making fun of them for being soooo French all the time.

JaJae · 08-21-2006, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Actually, just making fun of them for being soooo French all the time.

Yea, like their military in the field..

What's up with that?

DosEquis · 08-21-2006, 12:25 PM

Originally Posted by imind

so we're making fun of a country for not being good at war, correct? just checking.

It is more than just being "bad" at war. In a general sense they are just worthless and it doesn't help they make promises and back out of it.

They haven't really done anything right since they invented democracy.

Stylerod · 08-21-2006, 12:36 PM

avsp · 08-21-2006, 12:36 PM

Arent they waiting for the mandate & RoE to be clarified?, ..., sounds sensible to me, ..., as opposed to military forces whose commanders quite literally dont understand what they are doing, fail to get their public behind them, fail to adequately train their forces for the task they face, ..., i could go on but i'm sure you get my point,

..., of course its not that funny really either, ..., but perhaps i'm forgetting such thigs as a person 'distance required' & 'varying mileages' etc

thomez · 08-21-2006, 04:00 PM

Originally Posted by imind

so we're making fun of a country for not being good at war, correct? just checking.

I must study war and politics that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.

JA

Publius · 08-21-2006, 04:03 PM

Originally Posted by thomez

I must study war and politics that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy.

JA

JA... John Adams?