Never Mind trying to Stop Boys from Being Boys

RMNIXON · 08-01-2007, 04:39 PM

Girls Gone Mild
By Mona Charen
Friday, July 27, 2007

Wendy Shalit is loathed by a certain kind of feminist. When as a twentysomething college graduate she published her first book, "A Return to Modesty," she was scorned by The Nation's Katha Pollitt as a "twit," a "professional virgin" who should be given the task of designing "new spandex chadors for female Olympians." Others were less civil.

Shalit, who had raised eyebrows even while at Williams College for opposing co-ed bathrooms in student dorms, has now probably put herself even further beyond the pale by marrying young, giving birth to a son, and looking radiantly happy on the jacket cover of her new book, "Girls Gone Mild."

Her skepticism about the bacchanal we call modern sex is undiminished. The book opens with a discussion of Bratz dolls (sold by MGA Entertainment), apparently aimed at ages "four-plus." "Bratz Babyz makes a 'Babyz Nite Out' doll garbed in fishnet stockings, a hot-pink micromini, and a black leather belt . . . . the baby also sports a tummy-flaunting black tank paired with a hot-pink cap. 'These Babyz demand to be lookin' good on the street, at the beach, or chillin' in the crib.'" Another of the dolls wears heavy red lipstick and bright toenail polish to match red panties. One is almost reduced to sputtering.

For the slightly older set, the "tweens" (girls between 9 and 12), Target markets thong underwear. Apparently you can find "Care Bear" thongs at some retailers and "push-up" bras at Kohl's for the first-time bra purchaser.
American popular culture seems determined to obliterate innocence -- even in the crib! But Shalit's critique is not so much prudish as pitying. Her deepest insights concern the new repression that has been imposed on young women. Repression? In this "liberated" age? Read on.

Consider the "hook-up" scene on college campuses (and many high schools). Under the new dispensation, with Ludacris providing the soundtrack, young women are expected to have casual sex with no strings attached. Some girls consent to be "friends with benefits" for their male friends. Magazines like Cosmo and Seventeen, cultural bellwethers, advise young women to "keep your heart under wraps." The very worst thing a woman can do, apparently, is to express a desire for some sort of emotional connection or (gasp) commitment from her sexual partner. That amounts to being "boring and clingy," declare the magazines.

Scarleteen offers a "sex readiness checklist" for young girls to help them gauge whether they should plunge into the fun. Among the items: "I see a doctor regularly," and "I have a birth control budget of $50 per month." The emotional readiness a girl should demonstrate is "I can separate love from sex." Shalit notes, "Those who can separate love from sex are mature, like jaded adults. They are ready to embark on a lifetime of meaningless encounters."

In fact, Shalit argues, all of this advice and deprogramming aimed at women is necessary because women do not by nature thrive on casual, meaningless sexual encounters. They crave emotional intimacy and fidelity -- desires the women's magazines are at pains to quash in the name of maturity.

Psychiatrist Dr. Paul McHugh describes the vast numbers of young women who consult him asking for Prozac because they have sex with lots of different men, all of whom say they're "not ready" for marriage. "'But there's nothing the matter with you,' I tell them; 'what's the matter with the world? Let me help you find a way of not hopping into bed with all these guys right off the bat . . .'"

The good news is that a small but significant backlash is underway. Eleven-year-old Ella Gunderson became a minor celebrity when she wrote to Nordstrom complaining that she could not find a pair of jeans that didn't show her underwear.

Sixteen-year-old Taylor Moore travels the country advising girls to follow their dreams. She tells them, "There's nothing wrong with being a good girl . . . . You put yourself in a position of being a girl who's classy and having dignity, and eventually people will treat you as such."

The "Girlcotters," a group of Pennsylvania teens, pressured Abercrombie & Fitch to pull T-shirts with sayings like, "Who needs brains when you have these?"

There's a teenage inspirational speaker who uses the word "dignity"? Together with the savvy culture warrior Wendy Shalit, it puts a smile on your face.

Townhall.com::Girls Gone Mild::By Mona Charen

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An odd coincidence is that a I read the morning after watching the movie "Little Miss Sunshine."

Spoiler Alert!

If you have not seen it, the story involves a little girl from Arizona who travels with her troubled family to California for a Kids Beauty Contest. The whole family gets worried when they find the other young girls dolled up like Joan Benet Ramsey, full of makeup and fancy costumes. Our little miss sunshine is the type of simple innocent girl you might find in any small town. But unknown to the family, grandfather has taught her a junior miss strip tease act to fast moving pop music for the talent competition. An act that comes off as nothing more than a whole mockery of the event in question. I mean if you dress up a little girl like a Hooker, what does it matter if she is singing Country Music? She is still dolled up like a Hooker!

And have you seen the TV ads for BRATZ the Movie?

Linzyhop · 08-01-2007, 04:49 PM

jesus

Stylerod · 08-01-2007, 04:56 PM

It used to be girls didn't fuck around because they would be labeled as sluts and would have no friends. Now it seems the opposite. If they don't fuck around they are considered prudes and don't want to have fun. My how the world has changed....

PS. THANK JESUS I HAVE BOYS!!!!!

WickedLou9 · 08-01-2007, 05:10 PM

I'm not letting my daughter out of the house untill she is 21.

garbagemanlb · 08-01-2007, 05:12 PM

That Bratz stuff is out of control.

Stylerod · 08-01-2007, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by WickedLou9

I'm not letting my daughter out of the house untill she is 21.

Like I heard a guy on the radio say when he found his unborn child was going to be a girl. "Now I'm praying for ugly."

Donkey® · 08-01-2007, 06:11 PM

Who cares? The kids are fucking and sucking whether the dolls have purses with little dildos in them or not.

RMNIXON · 08-01-2007, 06:25 PM

Originally Posted by Stylerod

It used to be girls didn't fuck around because they would be labeled as sluts and would have no friends. Now it seems the opposite. If they don't fuck around they are considered prudes and don't want to have fun. My how the world has changed....

PS. THANK JESUS I HAVE BOYS!!!!!

And made it makes it much easier for them to have friends with benefits.

Scrum · 08-01-2007, 09:02 PM

Originally Posted by Stylerod

It used to be girls didn't fuck around because they would be labeled as sluts and would have no friends. Now it seems the opposite. If they don't fuck around they are considered prudes and don't want to have fun. My how the world has changed....

PS. THANK JESUS I HAVE BOYS!!!!!

I was thinking the same thing.

I hope if my wife and I have another it's a boy as well.

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Like I heard a guy on the radio say when he found his unborn child was going to be a girl. "Now I'm praying for ugly."

hsmith · 08-01-2007, 09:31 PM

People act like premarital sex is something new

but yes, i do agree that there is something wrong with 11yo's wearing thongs and the such

jimeigh · 08-01-2007, 10:06 PM

girls used to suffer being sexually repressed. now they're sexually obsessed, is that right? well, neither is good.

doesnt change much, though. when i have em, i'll do my best to help my kids learn to know and be in charge of their sexuality, so they dont get fucked up by the idiots who cant think for themselves.

WickedLou9 · 08-02-2007, 08:45 AM

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Like I heard a guy on the radio say when he found his unborn child was going to be a girl. "Now I'm praying for ugly."

I'm screwed. Look at those eyes.

jimeigh · 08-02-2007, 09:55 AM

Originally Posted by WickedLou9

I'm screwed. Look at those eyes.

i'd do her

RMNIXON · 08-02-2007, 05:56 PM

Originally Posted by jimeigh

girls used to suffer being sexually repressed. now they're sexually obsessed, is that right? well, neither is good.

doesnt change much, though. when i have em, i'll do my best to help my kids learn to know and be in charge of their sexuality, so they dont get fucked up by the idiots who cant think for themselves.

Very good observation. Trends like this often swing from one extreme to the other.

IminWonderland · 08-03-2007, 01:51 AM

I think the problem with the whole issue, is who is buying those Bratz dolls, and who are buying the thong underwear, because last time I checked, 11 year olds generally have no money of which they earned.

I think the problem with this commercialization, is that the Parents of these kids need to step in and fill the void for what love, sex, lust, and desire really mean to the soul. We shouldn't be expecting Barbie, Bratz, or Mattel or any of them to teach that. When I was younger, I played with Barbie's, and my Barbie's had affairs of all sorts and engaged in behavior I had heard about, and that didn't turn me into going to Blowjob parties and having all sorts of risky sex at a young age.

I think that the message that goes to your daughters, as will go to mine is: YOU DETERMINE YOUR OWN WORTH.

If your raise your girls to believe that they worth is in what clothes they buy, how they match everyone else, and how beauty can be bought, then what you will get is a trashy teenager with no conception of self worth.

If you raise your girls to believe that they are not just sexual creatures, and how wonderful sex is when you love someone, and how it is a woman's responsibility to be CHOOSEY, then I think you can raise someone in our current environment, with all these intrusions, and they will come out the other side without Herpes.

I think the commercialization of sex to children is abundant. It's a good thing I am here to set the record straight.

RMNIXON · 08-03-2007, 04:51 PM

Comercialism will always sell what is popular. It is up to us as a culture and each family to reject what does not belong in the picture. I think we have too many adults who are afraid to say that is not appropriate. Too many who think parenting is some shared Zen experiance and not a responcibility. They are too busy trying to be hip to their kids to say NO!

IminWonderland · 08-03-2007, 06:00 PM

Well, I don't think you can be a Parent and a Friend at the same time.

I think that the new age of coddeling kids, alot of the newer attachment styles of parenting, and the lack of discourse that approves of maybe more tried and true ways of disciplining and instead propgates more concern over "esteem" than "Consequences".

I think that it's hard to be a parent today. I think that everyone is so worried over how other's will percieve their parenting, that they sometimes don't do the right thing for the kids. If we are all too worried about what so and so will think of our punishment, we aren't doing our jobs as parents.

Combining this attitude with the upper middle class money creates children who have every material thing they could want, yet no internal compass of what it is to be young and be a kid. Childhood is not about sex, or who has what thong, or who dresses like what, it's supposed to be a time where you learn about the world. Kids with no compass look for empty fufillment from immediatley satisfying acts. Something that feels good right then and there, because they've always gotten what they wanted NOW NOW NOW.

I say we end this. Damn it, I birthed two kids, and I'll be damned if they don't owe me to behave when they are older. There is an order, and they are below me, and it's not so much of "WHAT I SAY GOES", but keeping the clear message of who the parent is, who the child is in the relationship, and havng reasonable expectations that come from love is what saves kids.