I just got off the phone with my Mom... - Page 2

KatKanPlay · 09-06-2006, 08:29 PM

Originally Posted by Ardentfrost

A pornographic photograph. nood = nude

OH! See I knew I was going to learn something here at LL

IminWonderland · 09-06-2006, 08:31 PM

Yeah, it's incredible, how she can come into my home, and here I am a Mother myself, and married, and seriously, I feel like I'm 13, and have a ton of stuff to hid from her, even though I am in no way ashamed of my life. Like, the bottle of wine in the fridge...yeah...it's mine. SO WHAT. I'm allowed a glass a week.

She'll look at my books, and see what I'm reading, and then suddenly a Dobson book or a LEFT BEHIND book is among my collection...

She is insisting she'll leave after "WE ALL GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY", whoa...since when does her visit mean that I go to church?

I like it that she lives out of state. And when ever she comes to visit, it reminds me of why it is that I like it soooooooo much.

IminWonderland · 09-06-2006, 08:31 PM

Originally Posted by Donkey®

All this talk of moms yet I don't see a single nood? Ya'll are gay.

What kinda of pervert has nekkid pics of their Mom?

Oh...I forgot where I was for a second.

beez · 09-06-2006, 10:43 PM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

I like it that she lives out of state. And when ever she comes to visit, it reminds me of why it is that I like it soooooooo much.

Even though I lived 450 miles away for college, once I moved to WI for grad school it was like a weight was lifted. I love my parents and all but sometimes you just need to be far away from them.

IminWonderland · 09-07-2006, 12:10 AM

Originally Posted by beez

Even though I lived 450 miles away for college, once I moved to WI for grad school it was like a weight was lifted. I love my parents and all but sometimes you just need to be far away from them.

I agree. I hope when my kids get older that they go away for school, and then just visit me. I think they'll appreciate me more!

imind · 09-07-2006, 01:53 AM

i have no advice, but i do want the play-by-play.

7960 · 09-07-2006, 02:15 AM

Originally Posted by ballz2wallz

i don't. i have nothing to hide nor anything i'm ashamed of.

yep, sounds about right

7960 · 09-07-2006, 02:17 AM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

It's hard having a relationship with her, and even harder on my Husband when she comes to visit because she keeps trying to "save" us. It's hard when she visits.

Practice these words. When she's done or said something to "save" you say "Mom, we're different, and if all our visits are going to be like this there won't be many more."

She's strange to you because you allow it. Don't allow it and it won't happen.

Donkey® · 09-07-2006, 03:40 AM

Originally Posted by 7960

Practice these words. When she's done or said something to "save" you say "Mom, we're different, and if all our visits are going to be like this there won't be many more."

She's strange to you because you allow it. Don't allow it and it won't happen.

Your mother in law keeps large files of porn.

Nonphixion · 09-07-2006, 03:41 AM

Originally Posted by 7960

Practice these words. When she's done or said something to "save" you say "Mom, we're different, and if all our visits are going to be like this there won't be many more."

She's strange to you because you allow it. Don't allow it and it won't happen.

Condescencion does not work in fluid social situation -- of which experience tells me the nature of human interaction is a very push-pull [read:action-reaction] dynamic. It is important to maintain a fluidity of exchange, or else you risk a wall of opposition which will stagnate the exchange.

If these rules did not apply; human interaction would be as if talking to a wall, an object. 7960, I am afraid for you that this is clearly not the case.

7960 · 09-07-2006, 07:51 AM

Originally Posted by Donkey®

Your mother in law keeps large files of porn.

that was my father-in-law

7960 · 09-07-2006, 08:07 AM

Originally Posted by Nonphixion

Condescencion does not work in fluid social situation -- of which experience tells me the nature of human interaction is a very push-pull [read:action-reaction] dynamic. It is important to maintain a fluidity of exchange, or else you risk a wall of opposition which will stagnate the exchange.

If these rules did not apply; human interaction would be as if talking to a wall, an object. 7960, I am afraid for you that this is clearly not the case.

Wtf are you talking about?

There is nothing condescending about telling her mom to stop trying to "save" her. You're saying "blah blah push-pull" but ignoring that her mom is always pushing, never pulling and ImInWonderland is always on the receiving end. How about recognizing that her mom is half responsible for creating the tension and realizing there's nothing wrong with telling her "it's not healthy for our relationship please stop it or I will."

When my wife and I were going to have our first child my *extremely* nosy sister-in-law would not let up about how she was going to help, how she'd be visiting all the time to make sure her nephew was raised right, how she was going to pay for her newphew to go to bible studies at a church she picked.......problem was we didn't want her help. We didn't want her visting 'all the time' to make sure he was 'raised right'. We didn't go to the church she was talking about picking for his bible study (it was a church *she* went to, not us).

Finally I'd had enough and she said something about helping to raise her nephew and I said "if want to even see your nephew you'll back off and let us raise him how *we* want." My sis-in-law was actually offended. My wife was pissed and relieved at the same time. My mother-in-law called and basically threatened my wife with something about being "taken out of the will if he continues to talk to your sister that way." She said that once and I told my wife "we're going to visit them this weekend and get this cleared up." We went, I told them both "you're coming on very strong with your 'we're going to help raise our nephew/grandson' stuff. Please stop making decisions for us and give us room to enjoy our baby." They got the message and from then on we've been on good terms.

cliffs:
1. If someone is making your life stressful, say something.
2. If you don't, stfu about being stressed.
3. Nobody can affect you without your permission.

ballz2wallz · 09-07-2006, 08:26 AM

Originally Posted by KatKanPlay

What is a nood?

you are too innocent

IminWonderland · 09-07-2006, 12:15 PM

Originally Posted by 7960

Wtf are you talking about?

There is nothing condescending about telling her mom to stop trying to "save" her. You're saying "blah blah push-pull" but ignoring that her mom is always pushing, never pulling and ImInWonderland is always on the receiving end. How about recognizing that her mom is half responsible for creating the tension and realizing there's nothing wrong with telling her "it's not healthy for our relationship please stop it or I will."

When my wife and I were going to have our first child my *extremely* nosy sister-in-law would not let up about how she was going to help, how she'd be visiting all the time to make sure her nephew was raised right, how she was going to pay for her newphew to go to bible studies at a church she picked.......problem was we didn't want her help. We didn't want her visting 'all the time' to make sure he was 'raised right'. We didn't go to the church she was talking about picking for his bible study (it was a church *she* went to, not us).

Finally I'd had enough and she said something about helping to raise her nephew and I said "if want to even see your nephew you'll back off and let us raise him how *we* want." My sis-in-law was actually offended. My wife was pissed and relieved at the same time. My mother-in-law called and basically threatened my wife with something about being "taken out of the will if he continues to talk to your sister that way." She said that once and I told my wife "we're going to visit them this weekend and get this cleared up." We went, I told them both "you're coming on very strong with your 'we're going to help raise our nephew/grandson' stuff. Please stop making decisions for us and give us room to enjoy our baby." They got the message and from then on we've been on good terms.

cliffs:
1. If someone is making your life stressful, say something.
2. If you don't, stfu about being stressed.
3. Nobody can affect you without your permission.

That is a similar attitude my Mother has. Now that I'm nice and horemonal, I'm sure to say something to her....I'm tired of it, and it is bad for our relationship...

Phantom · 09-07-2006, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

That is a similar attitude my Mother has. Now that I'm nice and horemonal, I'm sure to say something to her....I'm tired of it, and it is bad for our relationship...

honesty between all involved is sorta a prereq for any good relationship

my parents gave up on guiding me (after much frustration) and things have never been better

Stylerod · 09-07-2006, 02:09 PM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

Yeah, it's incredible, how she can come into my home, and here I am a Mother myself, and married, and seriously, I feel like I'm 13, and have a ton of stuff to hid from her, even though I am in no way ashamed of my life. Like, the bottle of wine in the fridge...yeah...it's mine. SO WHAT. I'm allowed a glass a week.

She'll look at my books, and see what I'm reading, and then suddenly a Dobson book or a LEFT BEHIND book is among my collection...

She is insisting she'll leave after "WE ALL GO TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY", whoa...since when does her visit mean that I go to church?

I like it that she lives out of state. And when ever she comes to visit, it reminds me of why it is that I like it soooooooo much.

Do your kids like her?

IminWonderland · 09-07-2006, 06:56 PM

Originally Posted by Stylerod

Do your kids like her?

My son adores her. And I don't blame him. She takes him to see Motorcycle races, let's him get away with murder, and gives him all the chocolate milk he wants. She's lot's of fun for him. If he didn't like her, or if they didn't have a relationship, I would have no problem cutting her out like I had a long time ago. I have never really had a solid relationship with her since I was around 7, and it only picked up again when I had my first, because I know it's important for him to know his grandparents.

Now that she lives out of state, her trying to "override" me, I pick my battles. Because he only sees her every several months, and it just makes him bratty while she's here, and then back to normal when she's gone. But, I think she knows that with me and my Husband, there is a line to cross when it comes to the kids. But, she has been trying to bully and guilt me into church ever since she got Saved.

09-07-2006, 07:02 PM

Aren't you pregnant?

IminWonderland · 09-07-2006, 07:06 PM

Originally Posted by 03 white zx3

Aren't you pregnant?

Yup.

Nonphixion · 09-07-2006, 07:37 PM

Originally Posted by 7960

Wtf are you talking about?

There is nothing condescending about telling her mom to stop trying to "save" her. You're saying "blah blah push-pull" but ignoring that her mom is always pushing, never pulling and ImInWonderland is always on the receiving end. How about recognizing that her mom is half responsible for creating the tension and realizing there's nothing wrong with telling her "it's not healthy for our relationship please stop it or I will."

When my wife and I were going to have our first child my *extremely* nosy sister-in-law would not let up about how she was going to help, how she'd be visiting all the time to make sure her nephew was raised right, how she was going to pay for her newphew to go to bible studies at a church she picked.......problem was we didn't want her help. We didn't want her visting 'all the time' to make sure he was 'raised right'. We didn't go to the church she was talking about picking for his bible study (it was a church *she* went to, not us).

Finally I'd had enough and she said something about helping to raise her nephew and I said "if want to even see your nephew you'll back off and let us raise him how *we* want." My sis-in-law was actually offended. My wife was pissed and relieved at the same time. My mother-in-law called and basically threatened my wife with something about being "taken out of the will if he continues to talk to your sister that way." She said that once and I told my wife "we're going to visit them this weekend and get this cleared up." We went, I told them both "you're coming on very strong with your 'we're going to help raise our nephew/grandson' stuff. Please stop making decisions for us and give us room to enjoy our baby." They got the message and from then on we've been on good terms.

cliffs:
1. If someone is making your life stressful, say something.
2. If you don't, stfu about being stressed.
3. Nobody can affect you without your permission.

I know nothing