:drudge: I'm engaged! :drudge: - Page 5

IminWonderland · 09-13-2006, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by curlyque221

I don't know...I don't think my parents expect the one to marry me to ask them for their permission, but I do think they would appreciate the gesture. My parents tend to have several old-fashioned values.

It's a nice thought...

I don't doubt it being a nice thought....but where I come from....we don't do that and haven't for generations.

Ardentfrost · 09-13-2006, 05:16 PM

Man, people don't understand respect anymore?

IminWonderland · 09-13-2006, 05:22 PM

Originally Posted by Ardentfrost

Man, people don't understand respect anymore?

I personally would view it as disrespectful to ME. Getting married is a major decision. Um, I should be the first to make that call, not my Dad.

I mean, this isn't a virginity issue is it?

If you don't mind me asking Ardent, were you guys intimate before getting married?

I mean, MAYBE...if I was a virgin when he asked...or still living at home....then MAYBE, I could rationalize him asking....no wait...not even then. I don't understand why the decision should include my Dad.

Ardentfrost · 09-13-2006, 05:34 PM

Yeah, we bang.

When I asked her parents, I didn't even pose it as a question. I just informed them that I had bought a ring and planned to ask their daughter to marry me and how I was going to do it.

Again, it's all a matter of respect based around tradition. I think a lot of people don't do it now-a-days, but when someone DOES do it, they are just being respectful of the girl's parents.

IminWonderland · 09-13-2006, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by Ardentfrost

Yeah, we bang.

When I asked her parents, I didn't even pose it as a question. I just informed them that I had bought a ring and planned to ask their daughter to marry me and how I was going to do it.

Again, it's all a matter of respect based around tradition. I think a lot of people don't do it now-a-days, but when someone DOES do it, they are just being respectful of the girl's parents.

Well, wait a minute...you didn't ask then.

You just told them you were going to ask her. To me that's different than saying, "With your permission, I'd like to have your daughter's hand in marriage." That's asking. You informed.

thomez · 09-13-2006, 06:23 PM

I think it also a way for the dude to gauge acceptedness into the family... if not welcome, he may want to try and remedy the situation before marriage (or even reconsider the whole idea) because having inlaws that are a problem may not fit into an acceptable way of life in his mind.

Ardentfrost · 09-13-2006, 06:26 PM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

Well, wait a minute...you didn't ask then.

You just told them you were going to ask her. To me that's different than saying, "With your permission, I'd like to have your daughter's hand in marriage." That's asking. You informed.

They still saw it as asking permission though, and they took that as an act of respect.

IminWonderland · 09-13-2006, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by thomez

I think it also a way for the dude to gauge acceptedness into the family... if not welcome, he may want to try and remedy the situation before marriage (or even reconsider the whole idea) because having inlaws that are a problem may not fit into an acceptable way of life in his mind.

I wouldn't wait for the relationship to get that far before I tried to figure that out.

My Dad didn't want me dating my then love interest, now hubby, because he toliet papered our house. But, I told him that I was only seeing him because he had a bad ass truck. If a girls dating you, and her parents don't approve, usually you know from the start....or so it would seem to me...

IminWonderland · 09-13-2006, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by Ardentfrost

They still saw it as asking permission though, and they took that as an act of respect.

I don't think they were listening to what you said...

beez · 09-14-2006, 11:50 AM

Originally Posted by IminWonderland

Then what's the point in asking them?

What, you gonna run off and elope, and be estranged from the family, because they said no?

That's a can of worms I would rather not open. And to be honest, if my daughters boyfriend "asked" me for her to marry him, I would probably respond "Why on earth are you asking me? I'm not the one who's gonna put up with you forever and ever."

I think it's really disrespectful to your g/f to ask her parents. Fuck her parents; it's not their decision to make symbolically or otherwise.

Phantom · 09-14-2006, 11:54 AM

Originally Posted by beez

I think it's really disrespectful to your g/f to ask her parents. Fuck her parents; it's not their decision to make symbolically or otherwise.

I think it depends on the girl and what the two of you want. If you take that attitude with a girl who is close to her family, you will lose every time.

beez · 09-14-2006, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by Phantom

I think it depends on the girl and what the two of you want. If you take that attitude with a girl who is close to her family, you will lose every time.

Depends on the nature of the closeness, really. TBH I wouldn't get along very well with a girl who was 'traditional' like that.

IminWonderland · 09-14-2006, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by beez

Depends on the nature of the closeness, really. TBH I wouldn't get along very well with a girl who was 'traditional' like that.

Yeah, I am definatley not "traditional" like that....AT ALL.

And you know, neither are my parents....

I'm sure it depends on the individuals involved....