How to get kicked out of college.....

[Dispatcher]

....without really trying.

When I was around 20 years old, my brother talked me in to applying to a college in Georgia....a Baptist college. He had attended school there some years before, simply because of the women to men ratio .
Soooo, before you can say "Accepted", I found myself in Rome, Georgia.
Things got off to a bad start right away. I didn't have a car and the dorm was 3 miles from the campus, so I either caught a ride with someone or rode my 10 speed bike. The 2nd week of school I was riding my bicycle on a rainy day, went to turn into the campus, and wiped out in the middle of a 4 lane highway. My head hit the pavement so hard that it knocked me out for about 30 seconds. When I came to, 2 cars were headed right for me .
I managed to get out of the road, but my tribulations were just beginning.
A few months later, I was riding with a friend of mine through the foothills of Rome. He drove like a madman, so it was one of the few times I wore my seatbelt.
As he was flying down a back road doing 70, he came out to a duel highway.
He either didn't see the stop sign or he ran it, but we hit a car broadside.
He was not wearing a seatbelt, we were in a Vega, and he was killed instantly. He was 18 years old. I was in a coma for 3 days with minor head injuries, cracked ribs, a fractured knee, a broken nose, and my top front two teeth went right through my bottom lip.
(my seat had come unbolted from the floor on impact).

A couple of months later, I was up late on a Friday night in my dorm room studying. I needed a certain textbook that I didn't have, so I left my room to go down the hall and ask a friend if he had the book I needed.
When I knocked on the door, my friend let me in. I was greeted by a virtual fog of pot smoke and 6 of his friends. Meanwhile, the Dean of the college was performing his friday night ritual....going room to room and sniffing at the door to see if anyone was smoking pot. Mind you, he didn't know what pot smelled like, so anything that smelled different would be suspect.
He came to my door and smelled something funny (incense), and opened my door with his pass key, but I wasn't there, so he came looking for me.
Meanwhile, though I was offered some pot in my buddy's room, I turned it down because I just wanted to borrow that book and get the hell outta there, because his music was blasting and I knew the Dean would be on his Friday night witch hunt. I grabbed the book and headed for the door. Just then I heard a knock on the door....not like a friend knocking, but like the FBI knocking. My friend took one look through his peephole, and yelled "It's the Dean! Everyone throw me your stash!"
He went into the bathroom and flushed everything.
I knew at that moment I was trapped like a rat.
Not willing to be stalled any longer, the Dean used his pass key and came in.
The same fog that hit me when I came in hit the Dean.
To make matters worse, as my buddy tried to deny anything was going on, I noticed a pot pipe sticking out of his shirt pocket.
I am 54 years old now, but I can still remember exactly what the Dean said.....
"I want to see you all in my office Monday morning....and you can all call your parents and tell them you are going home!".
I was not guilty...except by association. But it didn't matter. We all got suspended for a semester. Some of the guys went back there after the suspension was over. I was not one of them. I enrolled in a local college in my home state of Delaware instead.
I got a letter a few months later from the college in Georgia. They said I could come back as soon as I paid the tuition and the $15 dollars in fines for not attending Chapel that I owed them.
I wrote them back the following:
"Dear Sirs, I received your kind offer of reinstatement. I respectfully suggest that you take your chapel fines and your Baptist college and shove them up your highly educated ass. Sincerely yours, John Doe"

[Linzyhop]

hmmm.

yeah guilt by association. i hate that shit. it's happened to me too. oh well, ya live and learn.

[Donkey®]

My method was to allow my roommate to store a couple of pounds of weed in our closet.

[Kytro]

Guilt by association is completely unjust in all it's forms.

[7960]

Originally Posted by Kytro

Guilt by association is completely unjust in all it's forms.

of course it is, but it's really easy because it automatically labels you as guilty and you have to prove you're innocent.

a friend's son was in college and went away for the weekend. his roomies had a party and got busted. he came back and was told he was kicked off campus. he said he was gone, but when the RA wrote it up he wrote up the 4 names of the people who lived there, not the people who he saw in the room at the time. so my friend's son had to prove he wasn't at the party....nearly impossible.

*except* he was at a bash at the other college he went to visit and their campus paper had a picture of him at their party getting busted. so his alibi for not being in his room drinking (illegally) was that he was at another college drinking (illegally) and he had a picture with a time stamp to prove it. they STILL kicked him off campus because he was drinking illegally at the other school.

so my friend showed up with their lawyer...a few heated words were exchanged and he got his housing back.


cliffs: res life assholes with god complexes suck

[A_C_E]

Man, I love hearing these college horror stories

We're incredibly lax around here. Everyone gets one free pass for weed and 2-3 free passes for drinking in dorms. Drinking at house parties is perfectly legal (regardless of your age). As long as you're being safe about it, the cops never say anything.

Also, medical amnesty FTMFW. At Penn, if you drink or overdose yourself into the hospital, NOTHING happens to you. No citations, no police, nothing in your record, no parents called, etc. It's basically like nothing ever happened. It's an amazing, incredibly policy idea, really. Luckily, I've never had to use it Though I have had to take friends there in the past.

[7960]

Originally Posted by A_C_E

At Penn, if you drink or overdose yourself into the hospital, NOTHING happens to you. No citations, no police, nothing in your record, no parents called, etc.

They're over 18. Why would anyone call their parents to begin with?

[A_C_E]

Originally Posted by 7960

They're over 18. Why would anyone call their parents to begin with?

Most colleges notify parents when students get busted drinking in dorms and disciplinary actions are going to be taken.

Mostly because it's people's parents paying the rent.

[kinggovernor]

Originally Posted by 7960

They're over 18. Why would anyone call their parents to begin with?

most college kids are still kids, so they need their parents called if they screw up.

[7960]

Originally Posted by kinggovernor

most college kids are still kids, so they need their parents called if they screw up.

most college kids are over 18 and are legally adults. I don't give a shit who's paying the bills, if someone in Res Life called my parents because of something I did I'd be screaming at the next housing meeting.

[kinggovernor]

Originally Posted by 7960

most college kids are over 18 and are legally adults. I don't give a shit who's paying the bills, if someone in Res Life called my parents because of something I did I'd be screaming at the next housing meeting.

I know, my parents wouldn't take the call. But then again I never lived in the dorms, the concept was not appealing to me.

[A_C_E]

Originally Posted by 7960

most college kids are over 18 and are legally adults. I don't give a shit who's paying the bills, if someone in Res Life called my parents because of something I did I'd be screaming at the next housing meeting.

If you live in a dorm, your parents are (most likely) the Guarantor on the lease just as if you were living in an apartment they were renting.

As such, the "landlord" is entitled to notify the guarantor of any violation of the housing contract, regardless of who is actually living on the premises. Since drinking in some dorms is a contract violation, they can call you parents if they want to--and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

They don't call anyone's parents for anything here, but I have had friends at other schools where they do.

[7960]

Originally Posted by A_C_E

--and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

I didn't say I'd have legal recourse. I said I'd be screaming at the next res life housing meeting.