etiquette question

7960 · 06-05-2008, 03:02 AM

The wife and I were at a friend's having some beers. She mentioned something about a problem with her laptop so I had her get it and I fixed it while we were hanging out. She offered to pay me and I said "I'm drinking your beer, that's plenty." Next time I saw her she gave me a $75 gift card to Lowe's. I tried to refuse it and she insisted so eventually I took it.

So, fast forward 2 months. I was putting the final coat of tung oil on the new floor and I used her gift card to buy all the supplies. I really appreciated that it didn't cost me anything so I took a picture of the floor, emailed it to her, and said something like "thank you/I appreciated it, I used it to buy (blah blah), here's a picture."

My wife said it wasn't polite to do that. I said if I get someone a gift card I think it's perfectly fine for them to let me know what they did with it and in fact I hope they do tell me. I'd never bring it up or ask what they got but I always hope they do so I know what they did with it.

Was I wrong to send that note?

kinggovernor · 06-05-2008, 09:38 AM

the real question is, is the friend hot? Maybe that is why the wife is not happy

Dumpy Dooby · 06-05-2008, 09:56 AM

I wouldn't send the note, but that's mainly because I wouldn't think to do it. I would totally appreciate it if someone said, "Oh, this is what I got with the gift card you gave me." I'm actually going to make an effort to do what you did from now on though. I think it's a fantastic idea.

I think your wife is looking at it from the perspective of what the other individual lost. That is, she's viewing your email as a reminder that the job you did on the laptop cost the lady $75, and she's thinking the reminder will make the lady upset, and then showing the lady what you bought with it is gloating.

Again, though, I disagree. That's just my best guess as to why she thinks it's impolite.

Ardentfrost · 06-05-2008, 10:19 AM

I think it would be a nice gesture (what you did). I mean, you're saying thanks a third time which certainly constitutes as being very appreciative of the gift, and then even showing her the results of what she did for you.

I've expected the same from all those women I knocked up over the years, but I guess all of them are bitches

7960 · 06-05-2008, 10:50 AM

Originally Posted by kinggovernor

the real question is, is the friend hot? Maybe that is why the wife is not happy

trust me, that's not the case

Originally Posted by Dumpy Dooby

I wouldn't send the note, but that's mainly because I wouldn't think to do it.

I only thought to do it because I had absolutely zero cash and the wife reminded me about the gift card so it came at a fantastic time.

I would totally appreciate it if someone said, "Oh, this is what I got with the gift card you gave me." I'm actually going to make an effort to do what you did from now on though. I think it's a fantastic idea.

If it was to a restaurant I doubt I'd let them know "I used your gift card to go eat" because that's kind of understood. But a card for Home Depot or Lowe's or a nursery/landscaping supply place can get thousands of things...I honestly thought it was polite to let people know what you got with it.

I think your wife is looking at it from the perspective of what the other individual lost. That is, she's viewing your email as a reminder that the job you did on the laptop cost the lady $75, and she's thinking the reminder will make the lady upset, and then showing the lady what you bought with it is gloating.

I didn't think of it that way. I'll have to specifically ask if that's why. The $75 bought brushes and paint trays and stuff and I sent a pic of the floor with the *intent* of saying "your gift card allowed me to do this." If the situation was exactly reversed and I gave the card and she used it to finish her floor and sent me a pic I would have thought (and emailed back) "that's awesome!"

Again, though, I disagree. That's just my best guess as to why she thinks it's impolite.

Thanks, I'll ask.

7960 · 06-05-2008, 10:52 AM

Originally Posted by Ardentfrost

I've expected the same from all those women I knocked up over the years, but I guess all of them are bitches

the difference is I got the floor finished.

Scrum · 06-05-2008, 11:55 AM

Originally Posted by 7960

the difference is I got the floor finished.

thewise1 · 06-05-2008, 12:08 PM

Originally Posted by 7960

the difference is I got the floor finished.

thewise1 · 06-05-2008, 12:09 PM

I don't think you were rude by your actions at all. I would appreciate it if more people did things like that, personally. Tell your wife to stop being jealous and to get you a gift card and you'll do the same for her

opsie:

WickedLou9 · 06-05-2008, 02:19 PM

I think it was a nice thing to do. My wife has an Uncle who always sends her a thank you for her thankyou notes. She thinks it's cute.

Donkey® · 06-05-2008, 06:27 PM

So this is what married couples discuss?

motivez · 06-05-2008, 06:43 PM

I think it was a nice thing to do really, it let her know that you appreciated it and showed her that you used it for something nice

Ardentfrost · 06-05-2008, 06:44 PM

Originally Posted by Donkey®

So this is what married couples discuss?

Yes. This and anal sex.

Rouger2 · 06-05-2008, 06:48 PM

Man I didn't know you were that nice a guy. Forget about it you did good.

7960 · 06-05-2008, 11:00 PM

Originally Posted by Donkey®

So this is what married couples discuss?

between sitting in the mall and trying to agree on who we're going to ask to be the 3rd in our next threesome.

Dispatcher · 06-06-2008, 01:15 AM

I think it was just being considerate. I think it was nice.

Dispatcher · 06-06-2008, 01:23 AM

Originally Posted by 7960

between sitting in the mall and trying to agree on who we're going to ask to be the 3rd in our next threesome.

My wife and I have the same discussion

.
We thought about including our dog.
Cons: fleas, lots of fur, she's a bitch.
Pros: she's fixed.

WickedLou9 · 06-06-2008, 10:19 AM

Originally Posted by 7960

between sitting in the mall and trying to agree on who we're going to ask to be the 3rd in our next threesome.

Man. My wife and I sit around and talk about the babies poop.
Was it OK? Was it solid or runny? Did she go? Come here and smell her butt.

Phantom · 06-06-2008, 11:19 AM

A group of adult guys discussing etiquette ?

What you need is to concern yourself with not raising red flags among the individual (females) around you. Etiquette suggests there is some universal standard but the truth is there is no such standard. Your job is just to meet the expectations of those around you.

6SpeedTA95 · 06-08-2008, 12:00 AM

I think thats perfectly acceptable, but then again women live in a different world.