Does anyone else get depressed during the holidays?

curlyque221 · 11-26-2006, 11:24 AM

Maybe I have a highly romanticized view of the holiday season. All I know is that I go into Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas with such high spirits...but once they come I feel very lonely and unhappy.

It's not a money thing...yes I am a broke college student but not broke enough that I worry about getting through the holidays. I work a lot and I don't spend more money than I make.

I love giving presents...Since I was about 12 I have been giving out gifts to people I know won't give me something back...and it doesn't bother me to know that. I don't NEED anything and giving makes me feel good. I always try and do something for the community as well. I also have always given a donation to Toys for Tots.

Over the past several years I have had some very tough times with my family...I am highly unappreciated in my household, but there is little I can do about that by now.

I do have Jajae, but he works through the holidays (so do I...) so it's not like I am spending the holidays with him...

I don't know, Thanksgiving was pretty low and I really have no desire to celebrate Hanukah or Christmas now (yes, I celebrate both). Anyone got any ideas? Anyone else feel this way when the holidays come around?

Just wondering...

IminWonderland · 11-26-2006, 01:19 PM

Yes. And being Pregnant makes it a Zillion times worse.

I am having a baby in a week, and I know that I won't get to do everything for the holidays that I want before the baby is here, and I know my Husband is a LOP and I can't count on him.

I didn't even want to go anywhere for Thanksgiving, my kid won't even eat turkey, my inlaws drive me NUTS, and my own parents could give a shit.

I too, have a vision of this happy little holiday for me, the kids, and the husband, and it seldom comes true.

Next year, I'm ditching my expectations and I'll be able to do more myself without a huge belly in my way.

Don't worry...maybe it gets better later on?

motivez · 11-26-2006, 03:29 PM

I would guess part of it is coming to grips with the reality that the Holiday's are never really going to be like they were when you were a kid, because you think about them differently now and have to worry about grown up stuff.. having different expectations has left me in a much better position, though.

I feel the same way most years because I remember growing up and having the entire family together, having Thanksgiving Dinner, watching the football games, hanging out with Cousins that lived far away that I didn't get to see, opening presents, etc..

Nowadays, it's not the same. I've been trying to get everyone together for several years (my grandma is pushing 90 and there's less Christmas/Thanksgiving days left than there have been), but it always seems to fizzle out. Someone doesn't want to travel because of the weather, or there's work, or whatever.. and it sucks.

But, I've adjusted my expectations. I'm still trying this year, but I'll be happy to spend time with whoever is able to make it rather than dwelling on the fact that someone wasn't able to.

Ardentfrost · 11-26-2006, 05:26 PM

Honestly, I couldn't care less about any holiday or whatever. The only thing I look forward to is time off from work. I give gifts simply because I like to, but only to my immediate family and, of course, my wife. She and I aren't doing anything special for the holidays... no decorating, us exchanging gifts is just telling the other what to buy and how much to spend (clothes for her, Wii for me).

I dunno, I guess I could see if I still held some sort of expectation for holidays then I could be disappointed, but I just don't have them anymore.

Diamond Cross · 11-27-2006, 07:00 AM

I just hate the holidays to no end.

And would love to get awaya from them.

The biggest part for me is the over-commercialization of them. Every single message the media puts out is about buying something for christmas and if you don't then you're a bad person. I get sick of hearing that so many times.

Then it becomes all about competition. Who gets the best present for whom. And trying to please people is a joke because people are hard to please. That's why I like gift cards and the like. Or it's about seeing who has the best decorations. And so on and so forth.

7960 · 11-27-2006, 10:04 AM

I love getting family together at thanksgiving. Including husbands/wives/kids there are 19 of us so we don't do it often enough. Seems like we only get everyone at thanksgiving, christmas, and easter so I look forward to then.

We don't really *need* anything so a while ago we stopped doing material stuff for christmas and started doing things like "adopt a team" (my brother-in-law's idea). He was talking to a friend who coaches a local hockey team and the guy mentioned telling his players to ask for equipment and gift cards for christmas. My brother-in-law talked to the guy and ended up my family bought about 3/4 of the equipment they needed (this is personal equipment, not stuff the school should be providing). The "donation" was anonymous but then it made for another excellent chance to get together to go see "our team" play after christmas. It was really neat.

I'm not sure what we're doing this year. We've "adopted" families before, a women's shelter once (that was a different kind of special), a small school's graduating class.....I'm looking forward to finding out what we're doing this year. We usually talk about it at our family christmas the first weekend in december.

If you want to do something to feel good, give of yourself. Give your time. Don't just buy a Toys-for-Tots thing and drop it in a bin...*go* and *do* something for a tot. It's fun to give a kid a toy, but it's pretty awesome to actually affect his life.

7960 · 11-27-2006, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by Diamond Cross

I just hate the holidays to no end.

And would love to get awaya from them.

The biggest part for me is the over-commercialization of them. Every single message the media puts out is about buying something for christmas and if you don't then you're a bad person. I get sick of hearing that so many times.

Then it becomes all about competition. Who gets the best present for whom. And trying to please people is a joke because people are hard to please. That's why I like gift cards and the like. Or it's about seeing who has the best decorations. And so on and so forth.

I don't mean to be rude, but it's this way because you make it this way. I wouldn't give someone a gift card if it would save their life. If I don't know you well enough to have some idea of what you'd like then you're not getting anything from me.

Over-commercialization does suck, but only to the degree that you allow it to suck. My kids ask for toys but they also know they need to pick carefully becuase they're not getting a ton of shit. My 7 year old is as happy to give gifts as he is to get them. He gets his own budget and "manages" (with help, of course) his own money. He's genuinely excited to see other people open what he got for them...it's pretty cool to see.

It may be time to take a step back and talk with family/friends about what christmas means and maybe re-define what you're going to do. If over-commercialization bothers you that much it probably also bothers some others. You can't do anything about TV or stores, but you can change it for yourselves.

Stylerod · 11-27-2006, 02:15 PM

I love the holidays. I love being with my family and friends. Going places. Buying and getting gifts. I love it all.

Maybe I'm just lucky.

thomez · 11-28-2006, 05:40 PM

I'm very

about the holidays. Our family is very close and I do enjoy spending time with them but there is always a cousin or uncle or someone that gets on my nerves